We brought this up last tuesday, but i think before we get too far we should figure out an emotional story arc.
Also , after watching the story reels from last year, one important thing i think we should work on is making sure every scene in our story is indispensable to our storyline . We still have the core concept intact, i think we shouldn't be afraid to consider ideas outside the box we have created, in order to further the story.
Hi Nick,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. The gags slightly pushes the story forward, but if we add something else that ties them into the character/emotional arc, I think it would push them even more.
So the outline of the emotional one so far is something like this (correct me if I'm wrong):
The bird is stuck up and is close with her bird clique. She even makes fun of the Octopus. He, however, is in love with her. Why is she in love with her? (We need to figure that out. Maybe her body can be squarish like his head? Since the octopus doesn't like him because of his square head. (Which I think we need a scene to show this too.)
So the reversal for the bird, is when she finally hurts the octopus and feels bad so tries to save him.
They are then together.
I think we need something to show a reversal/arc for the octopus too.
So that's the general outline of it I think, but I think we can tweak it so that it's even better.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
i think we should simplify the emotional arc even further. like if i were to simplify romeo and juliet, i would say it is about two enemies who fall in love, as war escalates between the...etc.
ReplyDeleteif i were to summarize our story it would be this; octopus is an outcast in his world. he instantly falls in love with a seagull who is an outcast amongst her kind but refuses to be honest with herself about her loneliness. octopus makes several attempts to woo her. each time he fails, he unknowingly starts to make her feel excitement in an otherwise dull life. her stubbornness eventually injures the octopus, forcing her to leave her comfort zone and save him, they live happily ever after (or whatever.)
thoughts?
as far as a reversal for the octopus, maybe he gives up somewhere around the time of the final attempt. maybe it can lead to his failure.
ReplyDeleteThis is a side note, but my boyfriend suggested a cool idea. He was thinking that maybe we can make the sky upper class, and the sea lower class society. That can play in their personality and design. It would also give more reason to why our main bird is stuck up. The sky is also literally above the ocean.
ReplyDeleteI'll get back to the points you just made Nick. I'm slightly tipsy right now, and I just wanted to type that idea before I forget it. :P I'll get back to you later tonight or manana.
Maybe I should have read this before I revised my scene. :P OOPS.
ReplyDeleteOkay,
ReplyDeleteSorry about that guys. I just had a small drink with my dinner, but I'm a bit light weight, so it effects me quickly.
At Nick, I guess the most basic one is, an Octopus may love a bird, but where would they live? To be honest I got the story idea from the movie EVER AFTER. The quote goes like this.
Danielle: A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?
Leonardo da Vinci: Then I shall have to make you wings.
So yeah, I guess that's some back story that could be useful for you guys on how I came up with the idea.
As what you have for a summary, I think is good and what I had in mind too.
As for the reversal, it's a good idea, but I'm not really fond of it. I think the audience would empathize with him more, if he keeps on trying. I think the audience would loose interest/or even dislike our hero if he just gives up. Maybe originally, he hates himself for having a square body since he's different, but then eventually he loves it because it's the same shape as the bird? -Not a great idea either, but something to throw out there.
At Karsen, Yeah. It's a good idea to check the blog frequently, because there might be things like this. Especially when we're still in our early stages of developing the story.
The upper-class, lower-class thing is interesting... I wonder how we'd show that, though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in the first scene I added the octopus getting rejected by a few octo-ladies before he finally sees the bird, who is now surrounded by her friends.