Notes from September 21st

Here's the critique we got from class. I'm sorry it took me a while. I was a bit busy with stuff.

Rebeca:
Establish the bird eating starfish and puffer fish at the beginning. Have the female octopus react to the reason why she finds him disgusting. Such as, "you're so square" and have her draw a square. Or the sponge she's using can be a square. Have the bubbles/ink be in a square shape.

When the octopus first sees the bird, you can have sun rays behind her-making her all heavenly. When he reaches up for her, have her far away so he's really stretching out for her. When the other birds are making fun of her, have their head crane around looking or have them pointing at her.

Nick:
Add the Dolphin helping the octopus while he launches himself.

With the lasso: Have the bird spot the star fish. Swoops down and then have him get excited, sneak up behind a rock and try to catch her. "Secretly trying to catch her" Or something like that.

For myself:

Have the bird do a double take when she spots the puffer fish. Have the bird fly up and lick her chops. Then a panel with the puffer fish scared, and then finally have him toot.

Karsen:
Have some quick cuts switching back and forth between the hang glider and the octopus.

Angela:

After the bird give the octopus the peck, have the octopus do a cute/shy pose and then have him hug her.

And that's it I think. Also try to incorporate the main bird instead of random birds.

Title?

Do you guys have any title ideas? I came up with a couple...

"The Laridae Who Loved Me"

"So I Married a Mollusk: A Tale of Forbidden Love on the High Seas"

argh

Alright guys, I'm trying to work out the hangglider and airplane scenes.

• I changed the hangglider scene to have him crash into an actual hang glider. Thoughts, suggestions?
• I added a few shots of him building the shark plane.

I have two versions, one longer and one shorter. Here's the longer one (which I like better):



And here's the shorter one:

Story

Hey everyone,

We brought this up last tuesday, but i think before we get too far we should figure out an emotional story arc.

Also , after watching the story reels from last year, one important thing i think we should work on is making sure every scene in our story is indispensable to our storyline . We still have the core concept intact, i think we shouldn't be afraid to consider ideas outside the box we have created, in order to further the story.

Size Comparison and Redesign

Here's a sketch of the rough size comparison between the octopus and the bird. And here's an adjustment to the bird design. It's still open for change and such.

Notes from September 14

So here's a brief summary of the notes that I took last Tuesday.

We decided to add a group of female birds, that are chatty and such. We're going to add them in the intro, in one of Nick's scenes, and in Angela's scene.

I didn't write down what we critiqued to each other, but here's what Dave had to say about our stuff:

Too much time between the jelly fish falling and the bird using it. So perhaps have other rubble falling to connect that the jelly fish was from the plane.

He likes the sunrise idea, but he thinks we can stage it better.
His idea for it:
Some of the birds spiral up as the camera trucks up with them. The camera then goes back to the sun, and there's a sun flare that wipes the screen. The sun is then upside down and the octopus is looking at it.

The idea of the octopus being an outcast needs to be played up more.

Having a character being stuck up is not appealing unless the character changes in the end. (Which ours does). So....

• Things we need to consider with the bird personality. Why is the octopus attracted to her?
• We Need to make her really repulsive at first.

Maybe have him taunting him with her female bird fiends. Have her point at him and make fun of him.

• Have her hurt him at the end
• Have her feel really guilty about it.

What is the point of the starfish in Nick's scene?

• Is she eating it?
• If so, we can use the same starfish in the middle scene, where the octopus is going to go up in the puffer fish. Have him bring the star fish up as a present.

With Nick's scene, a good transition was to use the splash to cover the camera, and then wipe out to the next scene. He also suggested that it wasn't necessary to have him thinking, and to just show the next stunt right away.

A suggest for the rock launching scene was to:
Have the octopus grab one rock, and then the other. Then the octopus gives a nod. The same dolphin from before then pulls him back. We zoom out a bit, to reveal what's going on. The octopus gives another nod, and the dolphin lets him go flying.

He also thinks the whale scene could be faster. Just have the two talking, Then cut to the surface with a bunch of seagulls flying over. Then have the whale emerge. Looks up, and blows. The octopus comes out, and says "taa-daa!." (Even though he suggested it like this, I really like the way you have the whale swallowing the octopus.)

With the scene of the starfish hook, and the puffer fish:
He suggested to combine the two. Perhaps have the star fish (the same one from before), be a present he brings to her. He can put a bow on it to make it look like a gift.

Instead of having the bird take the blow fish away, the main bird comes up and is about to eat the blow fish, but the blow fish becomes too scared, and farts, which releases all the air. We can have him either flying across the screen in spirals, or have him skid across the water.

He then asked if he needs to get knocked out?
I personally think it adds to it, so I prefer it if we keep it in.

With the different devices, he thinks we can cut out the turtle crane. With the stingray scene, the thing he crashes into could be a boat, or something other than a random tree in the ocean.

The main bird tries to get the clam, and then she realizes what she's done then tries to save him.

The main things we need to work on is:

Character (Pushing their personality),
Pushing the Humor,
and Connectivity

Octoladies

Contraptions scene

Where our little octopus hatches crazy plans. All of which fail.









And this is my design for the plane. Suggestions?

Inspiration

http://www.deviantart.com/#/d2ynb3a

Here's a cute storyboard I wanted to share with you guys :).

I particularly like the panel with the boy squishing his face against the mirror. The snake's tail leads the viewer's eyes right to his face.

Last Scene

Note: I wasn't sure what to do with the knotted tentacles either, so I just left that for later... :P

Alex's Scenes (Thumbnail)

Hey everyone, here's my rough thumbnails for the scenes I got assigned.







Here's the other scene that's after Karsen's.

Motif Idea

Here's a motif idea I had for the camera shots. Since the story is all about a creature from DOWN below the water trying to get UP above to the air. I think it would be nice to have a lot of pan shots that go up and down (and vice versa).

For instance, we already have the opening and ending shot like that, perhaps we can add it here and there during the middle parts. What do you guys think?

Octopus and Bird Rough

Here's the image for the rough design that we tried.

Also, we need to come up with a title! So come up with some ideas for that too. :)

Notes from September 07

Hey everyone,

Here's a copy of the notes that I took down from our last class.

The Story:

It starts with a sunrise, and all the birds are sitting together as couples, and then it pans down to the octopuses, who are also together. Then it shows the two odd balls (our main characters). They fall in love. The bird tries to go to the octopus, but when she touches the water, she responses, "eww," and returns back to the sky. Throughout the rest of the story, she's still in love with him but plays hard to get, and acts oblivious to his attempts.

So the octopus tries a number of stunts, which is as follows:

1) launches himself by latching to rocks and flinging himself.
2) trying to launch himself through a blow hole of a whale. (Maybe have him spew ink her as he flies away)
3) uses his arm as a laso, but it gets caught on a dolphin.
4) gets a star fish and turn it into a grappling hook.
5) ask his puffer fish friend to turn into a blimp, but the puffer fish gets eaten by another bird couple.
6) He ask his sting ray friend to become a glider.
7) He makes a crane out of random sea items
8) He makes a plane out of random sea items.

Each attempt, the pace gets faster and he gets more mad and ambitious. He gets closest to the plane, but because he's so excited and flapping his arms everywhere. One gets caught in the tail of the plane (which is a clam), and the plane spins out of control. He tries to use his parachute (which is a jelly fish), but the clam makes him too heavy and the parachute flies off. His legs get tangled. The clam makes him crash into the water and pulls him down. The bird finally notices that he's in danger, sees the jelly fish, and puts it on her head. She goes and rescue him.

When the octopus is saved, he's very happy and wants to give her something. He looks around and sees the clam on his arm, pulls it off, and gives her the pearl inside of it.

We have the same shot as the beginning, but it's now sunset. The bird couples are on the top, and the octopus couples are on the bottom. The odd couple are swinging in the water watching the sunset happily.

We shot the credits, and then there's a short clip after that, that shows the couple's weird babies.

If I missed something from the story, I apologize. Just tell me and I'll fix it. :)

The outline of the characters:
Octopus: love sick, resourceful, nerdy.
Bird: hot chick, stuck up, loves octopus but plays hard to get

Scene Assignments:
Rebecca: Intro to the first attempt.
Nick: First three attempts.
Alex: Fourth, Fifth, and when the octopus faints in the water.
Karsen: Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth attempt until he crashes.
Angela: When the bird sees him in trouble until the very end.

If anyone needs help or wants more work just say something and we'll readjust it.

I think that's it! I'll post the sketch that I have of the octopus in the next post.

Bird Sketches